PMS

A wave of uncertainty washed over me as I climbed into bed. I couldn't sleep, or at least try to make myself fall asleep. I didn't feel right. I didn't feel tired or sleepy. I felt...weird. I felt as if the room was filled with a lot of negative auras. I felt as if my mind was so full of nothing that its prisoners were screaming and pleading to be freed. I felt so disturbed.

As I lay down next to him, who was falling asleep very soon, I began to strike a conversation, thinking I could get some peace from him; talking like how we used to talk in the beginning. But in one second, my mood revolved 180degrees and I started to bombard him with questions that evoked more of his frustration that was already building up in him. We ended up in a cold war. He started to babble non-stop as I started to tear unnecessarily.

I then got up, flipping the comforter and throwing the pillow to his side, stomped out of the room, banging shut the door behind me. Stumpy was a good girl at this time. She was sitting on the living room floor looking into the room corridor and waited for me to go to her.

I knelt down in front of her and leaned forward to hug her. She is always such a darling when she don't bite and jump on you. I continued to pet her and all she did was lowering her head slightly so I wouldn't stop. It's a wonder how dogs can be your best partner when you need one. Then, I started crying again. And I cried even more this time. Tears trickled down my face and fell on Stumpy's head. She startled but showed no sign of fear or bewilderment. Instead, she cuddled up on my feet, warming them and licking them occasionally. And I continued to pet her.

I knew I had to sleep. Hell, I've got to work the next morning and then, it was 3 in the morning! But I just didn't want to go back in that 'negative' room. It was then when I wish I had a couch where I can put up for the night. It was then, when he came out of the room, and with his arms opened, he pulled me close to him and whisper those three words into my ears.

It was then, I wished that magical moment could last longer.
It was then, I closed my eyes and be lost in his embrace.
It was then, it occurred to me, that I do love him.

***

We would also end up in lil 'cold wars' when we're outside and bring the 'negative auras' into the car. I'd look away and ignore him. When the car comes to its final halt, he'd turn off the engine, turn around to face me, and call me B... I'd turn to face him. He'd say 'Sayang..' before leaning forward to kiss me gently. When he pulls back, it is then, when I'd pull him back for more gentle kisses.

It is at these times when I feel the love. It is at times like this, I want to enjoy every moment spent with him. It is times like this, I should treasure.