I shouldn't have done this.
I shouldn't have asked you to come back.
I shouldn't have pushed you.
I shouldn't have mentioned about the break up.
Your parents created the opportunity for you.
Hoping you can get the best exposure.
They have their hopes for you.
And I'm just here crushing them altogether.
I should've just let myself suffer in silence than voicing it out to you.
I should've just waited till you come back, or not and then decide.
I know I was being selfish. I'm sorry.
I should've understood you can't think about relationships when your career is not focused.
I should've known men can't think like women.
I should've known all these earlier.
I was selfish to ask you to come back. Even though I knew I shouldn't be doing that.
And now that you wanna come back, I can't promise that we will be back together again.
I really don't know.
I'm confused.
Over ... things. Don't know how many.
You shouldn't give up on the job you are holding now.
You don't have to decide now.
You can come back, look through things, and then decide. Whether to return or not.
I really can't promise anything. Not now.
5 comments:
if oni we know wat's right to do all d time... *huugzzz*
hug1234567890
this is part of life.
sometimes we have to be 'strong' for the better. you seem strong enough...
have faith... :)
I shouldn't have said so many things.
I should've seen it coming.
I shouldn't have left you waiting.
I should've came back sooner.
I should've just listened to my heart, instead of succumbing to the pressure of staying there in the US.
My intent initially of staying back in the US was so I could provide better for our future. But yea I was stupid to even think we would make it that far with all the distance.
Working in the US is obviously a great opportunity, with new graduates earning an average annual income of $50k in my profession. But money, although important, was not the most important thing to me. You were, and still are, the most important thing to me. I wouldn't be happy if I earned $100k a year if I don't have you to share it with. I would trade that $100k income for a $10k income even and take up two jobs if it meant being able to be with you.
People keep telling me, and even you tell me that one day I'll find someone else and there are plenty fish in the sea. Yea like I don't know there are a lot more hotter, sexier, prettier models/girls/whatever out there, but you are the one that I want. You are the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I can want all I want, and I know it takes two to tango. If in the end we do go our seperate ways for the last time, at least I knew I tried and kept trying. Opportunites are opportunites, and here I am with two, not just one opportunity: An opportunity to get a good career in the US, and an opportunity to be with you. Which opportunity I'd take I'm pretty sure you, and people who know me well, will know the answer. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just gave up on you, on us just like that, even if I things work out for me in the US (which is as uncertain as you and me working out again).
All that said, I know you can't promise anything. I know the odds are against me that somehow I can be with you again. But until the day I get an invitation card from you to attend your wedding with someone else, I will continue to love you, and do whatever I can to take care of you and be there for you. I made a promise to you from the start, that I would never let go of you, and I'm not going to run away from that.
I don't expect much from you. Just a chance to be with you, that is all I ask.
julia...i hope u're not feeling too depressed...altho i duno wat happened along the way, but i do pray and hope for your very best...i know how painful it is to let go of smtg u relly love...i cant let it go too...but whatever it is, u haf ur frens around 2 support u...i hope u'll get better soon...*hugz*
amelia
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