anemopost

Listening to Five For Fighting brings back lots of memories and emotions. Used to listen to Love Song very often during my internship in Pentago, while going through a hard time with Woon. Was always listening to FFF while at work, but going through the previous break, the lyrics just hit me. So that's why.

Anyway, listening to it now, in my dark lil room cos I didn't turn on the lights don't ask me why hehe. I'm probably starting to love the dark now that I'm free of my assses, except for Emilda's shit. But I still hate to see the sky turn blue. I think. Cos it means another day has arrived. Time is slowly passing by. Gah.

But would love to watch sunrise though =D

Anyway, back to my room being dark and my emotions stirring up. Think it started only yesterday night that I have this habit of not turning on the lights. Came back from a very delicious steamboat dinner and wasted my time in front of the computer, which I don't really mind since I don't have much to do or a TV to watch =D Besides, I can get really carried away reading blogs, surfing and all. Dunno what I was doing but the day hasn't been exactly good so emotions were kind of building up already and stumbling upon something that part of me is now wishing I hadn't, added to the wound.

I just bawled my eyes out. But I dunno what exactly the problem is. WHAT EXACTLY IS IT.

Looked for people to talk to. After midnite when most of my girlfriends are asleep. Managed to talk to Wei Ming for a while but he went to shower before I can even tell him what I wanted to tell so I messaged Enric hoping he was free. Just needed a third person's opinion. Need someone to tell me what is going on cos I can't tell myself. Like Alex told me, I'm not calm as I just got off a relationship. True. NEED AN EXPERT.

Anyway, talked to my dad today, while at Wongkok with Miau and Hong after submission. I actually called my mom wanting to ask her to bank in some needy cash but my dad happened to be there. He started telling me he'll come pick me up on Friday or Thursday and all and then asked me to ask Woon to go to a cousin's wedding dinner this Saturday, so I could introduce him to everyone. Haaa...

Had to come clean with him then and there. He asked me why. I said I dunno. But it was more like I was caught between sobs already. I couldn't say why. He asked "Who break down first?" Huh? Break down? Oh, you mean break UP. =.=" My dad's sometimes...[insert suitable word] Mix up all the phrases. -_-"

Then Miau and Hong was like shocked to see me tearing haha. Suddenly. But Miau understood why. She knew who I was talking to and what I was talking about =)

Dunno why I teared though. Just did. For a while. Like a tear or two haha :P Okay, jokes aside. More explaning to be done this weekend. Damn.

Don't think anyone who's close to me actually knows the relationship I have with my dad, except Woon, maybe. My dad and I are most of the time at different tracks. We always, or most of the time, have our own opinions. He's stubborn and so am I sometimes but he always wants to win in an argument [my bro too] while I'll just retreat, like my mom, thinking it's just a waste arguing cos I'll never win. Somehow, I've always felt we just can't be together cos we're different. Which is why I'm closer to my mom and can tell her things more comfortably cos yes, one, she's a lady thus she understands better. Two,... hmm, ok. I'm not really like her. I have characters inherited from both parents so yea. I guess just one reason hehe. She's a lady =D

But when it comes to things that really bring me down, somehow my dad'll be the one who's there for me. I had expected him to scream like he does usually if not overeact or something. But no. He appeared to be very understanding and forgiving. And he cared for me first than any other thing that is involved. I guess parents are always great huh =)

Like when I got into my first accident, I was really panic and felt bad too cos I knew how much the repair would cost. He wasn't the first person I called cos I thought he'd probably just scream at me heh. But I knew I should tell him sooner or later la. So I sms-ed him saying sorry and all, and then he called me back, sounding VERY calm, asking me if I, was ok. If I hit anyone.

Dunno if he had a strategy in doing that but then, all I could think about was the car and how much it would cost. HE on the other hand, was more concerned about my well being and if I got into any other trouble that's worse, which, made me feel better. It calmed me down. Don't remember the exact words he used but I remember he was really calm and wasn't screaming at me. AT ALL. He was assuring me everything will be ok or smthg like that and he'll send over some people to go get the car. I was happy =) Never thought he could be that understading.

Then today, when I told him about the break up, he was calm too. He calmly asked me why and did not bombard me with questions. But I could hear regret from his tone of voice. Just somehow. Probably God's trying to make me see what a great dad I actually have hehe. Initially on both occasions, I'd wanted to tell my mom first. But thinking back, if I had told her about the accident first before my dad, she'll probably panic and I'll have to calm her down instead.

Ok, emo post. Hehe. Ends here. *bl2*