I have decided to talk to you the way I do now, which is to let out whatever that is in my mind-my innermost thoughts that I have never found the guts to tell you straight in your face as I could see the potential of you getting hurt, and besides, I never knew how to start.

The feeling that I have, is a mixture of everything-jealousy, hurt, mad, oversensitive, a lil bit of everything. There's no reason for me to say things out purposely on the phone, but I just let the conversation flow to an appropriate start of the topics. Perhaps, it is always easier to say things out without going face to face with each other.

I do feel a lot better after saying those things out to you-after I have let you know most of the things. I may miss out some parts, thus I may say them out whenever I feel like it :P

I do admit that I am not comfortable with her existence in your life, or anywhere else in this world. But that is natural for anyone in this kinda situation rite? Anyway, I was never mad at her for everything that happened, nor did I mind. Coz after all, it wasn't her fault. I think she and I can always be friends. I was just very disappointed and mad at you for not being more sensitive and understanding towards me, or how a woman thinks, generally. Some of the mistakes were seriously common sense.

I thought I'd have a lot to say here. But looks like I haven't :P

Sigh, I cried when I reached home on Friday evening. When I was in Sentral, nothing occured me except a pang of weirdness when you walked down the stairs towards the train platform. It's an unusual feeling as I have never felt that way everytime you leave, except the first time. I took a train back to the office for some performance rehearsal and had a good laugh during the discussion. I even had the energy to go shop around for props for the family day the following day. But when I reached back in your aunt's place that evening, I felt so empty. I ws so used to being pampered by you everytime I get back home. But this time, no one. Nil. I just broke down...well, for a while. I tried to be strong, so I got up on my feet, carried on to take my shower and went back to my daily routines. Ahh...looking at the bright side, I am gonna see you in May rite? If not, or after that, 2 years later...or more. But whatever it may be, I just hope that our relationship will be much firmer and rock solid than before. Just hope that I am able to get through this.

I love you, baby.